Speed Dating: A "Twisted" Event

SPEED DATING : A 'TWISTED' EVENT(Part One)


Around late January, i realized that wretched, over-commercialized V-Day was fast coming up, and my potential V-date had turned out to be, well, lacking in potential, after all.So, with no viable date in the far, far horizon, yours truly decided to do the next best thing: sign up for this "Early Valentine" Speed Dating event targeted to the Filipino-Chinese community.

Days before the event, i was informed there would be a "twist" with this speed dating event. But despite badgering the vivacious organizer Candie, she steadfastly refused to spill the beans.

***The group speeddating was a collaboration between me (Candie) and Jeanette Tan who invited people to the event as well. The group speeddating idea came about when Jeanette said the people she invited did not want to have speeddating, and just a group date. But I also had a bunch of people who were invited by me and expected to be in a speeddating event. therefore came up with the idea of group speed dating. *** ~ Candie

Speed dating normally works this way: The guys and gals sit facing each other on individual tables, and talk to each other one-on-one for an allotted number of minutes (commonly 3 or 4 minutes). Then, once a buzzer or bell signifies the end of this allotted time, the guys move over to the next table where the next girl awaits, and the process starts all over again.

Each guy and gal has a checklist in their hand, wherein they "check" those people whom they liked well enough to want to see again. So, if Guy A checks Gal Z, and she also checks him, then we have a "match".A day or two after the event, the organizers inform each participant by email how many matches they have, along with the mobile phone numbers of the said members of the opposite sex.

On the night itself, the turnout was overwhelming. There were 31 pairs signed up (whoa!). So, i guess there were that many unattached-yet-on-the-prowl people like me! Haha :D Candie went onstage, and announced that the game. . . err, event was about to begin. Further, she revealed that the twist was that this would be a "group" speed dating, instead of the normal one-on-one set-up.This was how it would work: There were a total of 6 tables, and each table would have more or less 5 guys and 5 gals. They would be given 15 minutes to mingle, chat, make jokes, stare into space, etc. before the guys move on to the next table, and so on.

To break the ice (factoid: Fil-Chis, or "Tsinoys", are amongst the coldest bunch of people on earth), there would be a game question for each round, which the speed dating participants would answer. This, hopefully, would get everyone involved, and start sharing juicy tidbits about themselves.Candie explained the rationale for the shift from one-on-one to group: Based on their previous events, participants would get hoarse from all that talking by the midpoint (and i suspect, tired about being asked and answering the same questions regarding their age, job, school, income, etc.), and sort of not enjoying themselves anymore from then on. Clearly, a case of diminishing marginal returns at work.

Also, i thought the group format was an ingenious way for the organizer to deal with last-minute no-shows/flakers, as it eliminated the need to have the exact same number of guys and gals.Nevertheless, i had serious reservations about this so-called "twist", in all honesty. Probably because i'm anti-social, taciturn and don't like big groups. Besides, under the usual one-on-one set-up, i have the entire 4 minutes to monopolize the girl's attention, and hopefully charm the pants off her. [IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This is a figure of speech only; DO NOT take it literally, okay?]

Whereas under the new group set-up, i have to find a way to stand out from the other 4 guys, who are all in their own way trying a find a way to stand out and impress the girls, too! Likely result: total chaos.While i (secretly) wished that the other 4 guys at the table were all pasty-faced schmucks, so that i come across as relatively "better", i could not afford to take things to chance. After all, one has to take one's fate into one's own hands, right? You know, "Carpe Diem!" or whatever.

Without further ado, we guys were assigned our respective tables, and the game was afoot!Amongst the questions used as starting points were:

a) Describe yourself using words which start with each letter of your first name. [For example, Candie could describe herself as "Catty, alluring, neurotic, delicate, ingenious and elegant"]

b) "If you were marooned on a desert island, who are the 3 people (whether dead or alive, real or imaginary, etc.) whom you would bring along, and why?"

c) State 3 things about yourself, 2 of which are factual and 1 being a lie. Then the members of the opposite sex at your table will guess which one is the lie, and you tell them if they had guess correctly or not.In fairness to Candie (and contrary to my earlier reservations), this new group speed dating format worked quite well, especially during the later stages.

At first, people were sort of shy, and deferred to others to start the ball rolling. But once warmed up, most everyone was willing to share interesting tidbits about themselves. In particular, making wild guesses regarding which "fact" was in fact a lie proved to be hilarious. Not only did this game bring out interesting revelations from each of us, it brought forth lots of good-natured 'roasting' and bantering and hooting when each person had to reveal which of his/her statements was the lie, and why exactly so.

Of course, the evening was not complete without some low points, like the girls from the wretched Table no. [x]. I do not intend to sound mean, but really, they were regrettably a trifle deficient in the personality department.For one, they kept on pointing to the others to get the discussion started, much like guests at a Chinese dinner lauriat, who move the lazy Susan back and forth the table, urging each other to be the one to dig into the food first.

Then, when finally pressed to say something substantial, they hemmed and hawwed and frowned in agonizingly deep thought, as time ticked away.One of them proferred the oh-so-fascinating tidbit that she "didn't like cheese". Equally uninspiring was another one who professed her love for travelling. When i inquired what her favorite travel destination was, or what had been her most enjoyable trip so far, she clammed up and looked at me uncomprehendingly, as though i asked her whether cold nuclear fusion was the answer to global warming.Tsk, tsk.

Due to the late hour, Candie was not able to tabulate the results, and instead, promised to email everyone their respective "matches" shortly.So the waiting game begins.

(For more details on the speed dating event, please check out http://www.my20firstdates.com/)

Posted by the Grumpy Urban Slacker as his first hand experience for My 20 First Dates

My best friend's wedding

As I am writing this blog, my best friend gets married in less than 3 days. We’ve been friends for over 21 years. We became friends in nursery school, when my sister and her nanny would always be late fetching us, and we would end up in the “waiting room” together. We were 4 years old back then, until we became classmates in kindergarten until grade 6. In high school, we got into different sections, made other friends, but still kept in touch. When college came, we went to the same university but took up different courses.

In 21 years, I’ve seen her in just her panties, I’ve seen her cry, laugh, triumph and fail; I have met her family and she has mine. We’ve become a household name in each other’s household. We were not the stereotypical best friends that do sleepovers or put make up on each other, have pillow fights, or go shopping together. We mostly spoke over the phone, and occasionally met up for important things.

I am at the stage of my life where my social calendar is filled up by attending weddings, bridal showers and engagement parties; despite all of this, the thought of my best friend getting married just wouldn’t sink in. It’s like, it can’t be! We’re same age! We grew up together! Not that any of my reasoning matters or contributes on the decision making process of getting married, but it’s just shocking! She’s the first one to be wed amongst those who are close to me.

I remember when we were probably 13 or at a silly age when we would talk about our weddings, we vowed to be each other’s bridesmaid. Doesn’t matter who gets married first, if it has to be done, one of us will be Mrs. Bridesmaid. Haha. I guess I’d be the one to have a Mrs. Bridesmaid in my wedding.

As I just had my manicure and pedicure, hand spa and foot spa to prepare for the wedding, got my gown and my shoes, got my appointment with the hairdresser it seems like I’ve got every base covered. Yes, seems. I don’t have a date. Ironically, I organize events for people to date. I’ve scanned thru my phonebook, my YM list, my Facebook, zilch; although I did ask someone, who turned out to be busy on Sunday. So now, I think I may just embark on the wedding alone.
I don’t really mind going alone, since I’d prolly be hanging out with some schoolmates there, but it would just be… more fun if I were to go with someone, being all dressed up and everything, it’d feel like prom again. Haha my gawd. Oh I can go on with my prom night, but it’s gonna be a whole new story and it’s just not related. Haha

I hope that this Sunday goes well, I don’t trip, Thea gets married to Hans, I’d look good on my make up, and I’d enjoy the night without a plus 1. I’d be taking lotsa photos during the wedding and post them up soon!

Unreciprocated Love

You sometimes don’t know when love would hit you. This could be the best thing that’s ever happened or it could also be the worst thing. Why do I say this?


In this business of matchmaking, we bring together random people to become friends, business partners, and if they’re lucky, maybe lovers. This was the case for a close friend of mine who I asked to join. She came to the event with no expectations. She just came to support me plus, she was single. Hehe Instead of finding love, I think it was more like love that found her.


We think of Love in such positive way, that it rarely occurs to us how appalling it could also be.

She caught an “admirer”. She met a guy who has fallen COMPLETELY and IMMENSELY in love with her from the moment that they’ve met. Nothing would have made us thought that he could be like this. I guess the guy paid good money to have found the person who he feels would complete him; although we do not guarantee they would reciprocate. Lol.


This guy has texted her love quotes, to self-authored love quotes, to love messages. He has waited for her in front of their building (lucky for him, bad luck for her, they live in the same building). He has taken up swimming every Sunday now (since she goes swimming on Sundays); persistently texts her after I have “interfered” as the organizer of the speed dating; and the most recent one, has written her a 2-part love emails that were written with so much passion...that it was mind blowing.

She has asked her to be just a friend, since he knew that she was not at all interested to even keep in contact with him; asked her to stay around, so that he would have the will to go on, to look for her “replacement”; which he later said that he doubt that he’d find anyway. He has shamelessly asked her to treat her like a brother, a classmate (that you ignore! My gawd), or just be a person who would reply to his texts and emails.


My reactions have gone from WTF s to OMGs. Couldn’t help but feel like that I was sort of at fault haha. But then I started to put myself in his shoes, tried understanding where he’s coming from, and I’ve read his love email to her again, and I could only conclude that a person who could humiliate himself like that is exactly what a person who is TRULY in love would do. He would risk it all. He has lost his mind. He is in love. He’s just like Tom Cruise in Oprah talking about Katie Holmes sans Tom’s hotness haha.

Although saying this, I am not encouraging my friend to go out with him, haha, dear God NO! I am just saying that it’s kind of distressing to see, not just him, but anybody, to be like this.

Well, I just wish for him to find someone that he would love as much as he does my friend, and who would also love him back. But then again, is this not what we all want?

Matchmaking for real

It was a Monday night, I was bound for Banawe to go boxing at Sarreal when suddenly the lazy wind blew in my direction, it was also kind of a sad day that time, so I called on a friend to hang out instead. I have been texting with Ronnie for such a long time wanting to meet and catch up so I took the opportunity and went directly to his house and fetched him. It was actually more like an ambush rather than an invitation, haha.



So Ronnie and I headed to Starbucks to just hang out and chat, he started telling me about his work and everything else that comes into mind. Ronnie is one of those people that I just click with, and seem to have tons of things to talk about, conjuring conversations out of thin air.



As we were hanging out, I saw a friend of mine from kindergarten, Cherry. We said our hi's and hello's as she went back to her table. She walked passed our table again and I started a conversation with her. Apprarently, she was at Starbucks with her dad (w/ business partners), talking about things that would not keep her in her seat. So I asked her to sit at our table until her dad's done with his meeting, and so she did.



I have not talked to Cherry in probaby 10 years, we've always just acknowledged each other but never really gotten to talk or become real friends. I was so surprised to find out that we have so much in common, and that we share alot of same opinions. Talking to her for the first time was like talking to a long lost friend.


Cherry-Ronnie-Ronnie-Cherry. That was it. That was my purpose that night, why the lazy wind blew into my direction. It was mere Destiny as i believe, why Cherry's dad decided to tag her along to a really boring business meeting; why Ronnie was so available that night, i don't know.
There is a saying in Chinese about Destiny that I really love, "With Destiny, you'll meet inspite of being a thousand miles apart; without Destiny, you may be face-to-face but you'll never get to know each other."


There it is. Although I am not a firm believer of Love-at-First-Sight, 'cuz it's never happened to me, but I think thats what happened to Ronnie. When the night ended, he asked me for her number and they just started texting each other.
I am also a non-believer of long courtships, I believe in the simplicity of "me Tarzan, you Jane" sort of thing. Yes, the flirting in betweeen IS fun (and may just be the funnest part), but if you're both looking for a serious relationship, I think, there is no sense in waiting.

After all these events, Elaine and I have organized, we've never gotten to know the feeling of being a matchmaker. Now I know, and it is one of the amazing things that I've gotten to see; how I was used by a tool by LOVE haha (i'm not cynnical, see?) to make 2 strangers meet, who would both otherwise walk their own direction in life and not know each other; OR I might just be giving myself too much credit, that they'd probably meet each other one way or another haha. But I'm glad I was part of it.

Playing Match Maker

We've been playing match maker for almost a year now. 1 year, 4 events, 80 dates, and 160 participants after, and people ask us, "so, has anybody made it yet?" you know, become couple. and we're like Noooo.... When is this gonna happen?

Elaine and I imagine the first My 20 First Dates couple's wedding in our day dreaming sessions (every Tuesday, haha) We're like, we're so going to call on the press and put up posters everywhere and flyers, and Elaine was gonna give cake as a gift (with our logo) haha. Make a website for them, we'll be so into their wedding... but then poof! nothing has happened

So we're thinking maybe people just aren't updating us? But why?! So here's the deal people.

We're calling the attention of all our previous participants, we're crazy curious about what's up? (maybe we should do a reunion edition or something?) Please holler us, call us, email us, text us, send us smoke signals, tell us what's happening!!!

Anyone who has come together because of our event we will be so honored, if you allowed us to have dinner with you, ON US! :)

Singles' Summer Night -- Our 4th Speed dating Event

After 2 months of hibernation, we felt it's about time we do our 4th speed dating event. But it's not like we lost interest in speed dating, we were simply busy with our lives-- renovation in my room and Candie's sister, P, got married last April 26. In short, we had no time to decide on a nice theme for our next speed dating, let alone actually plan it.

During that time, I met with an old friend, L, and she introduced me to this new restaurant behind Starbucks, Banawe. Admittedly, I've never looked beyond Starbucks and upon walking through the alley, CocoAsian Bistro seem to just pop through the scene, it was that unexpected! It has a sort of a fine dining feel to it, or at least a place striving to be a bit more upscale compared to other food establishments in the vicinity.

Candie and I talked to one of the managing owners, R, who happened to be an acquaintance in DLSU. And of course, there were the SOP meetings where we talked about food, budget, space allotment etc. Pretty soon, we found ourselves booking the place for May 16.
what would you like for dinner?

And as usual, we love doing "extra" work. By that I mean improvements on various seemingly unnecessary stuff. It took us almost the whole afternoon trying to redo our vectors, changing the font in our kit, colors for our name tags...pretty much those stuff that our participants might not have notice, but actually improves the total package of our events. Amidst that, we collected participants and were extremely delighted that some of our previous participants joined yet again (3rd time already!). "nicer" tops

There was a slight downpour on the night of the event and a number of people were late but a whole lot were early...as in 30 minutes early! Candie and I haven't even changed into our nice tops yet (!?). Anyhoo, our registration now is a zip! Primarily because the name tags are already printed and we were able to put names on the faces on ALL our participants. Some were obviously pleased, albeit a bit surprised, with our little effort and it made for an interesting first meeting. The night happily wore on smoothly with a lot of ding!ding!ding! and "..next date please..", which is really the fun part! Soon, everyone got to have their 20 first dates and was more relaxed as they mingled with other singles (take that!).

The Tale of No Ethics

I was lounging and watching ETC, as I saw Astring-O-Sol's Launch of their Ice Extreme product line. I thought to myself, "wow, that would be a great sponsor! how they relate sore throat with talking too much..." so i saw the name of the brand manager and tried my luck the next day!


I called GSK hotline and tried to talk to the operator, but nobody was answering, and so on my 3rd try, I pressed a random extension number and asked for the brand manager, then magic, i got connected to his office! Wonderful I thought to myself, so i started talking about how we wanted them to be our sponsor, told them how speed dating was related to their product line. The brand manager was excited, he was very, very interested; and so we got them as our sponsor, they gave us P375 worth of products for each participant on their first support. We were so glad to have such a big company sponsor our event. At that time, it was for our Astoria Event.












Our next event came, when we asked for support, they said, "sure, come and pick it up!" and our driver came back with a sando bag filled with small bottles of mouth wash, we thought "hey great, at least they still supported us." We put up their tarpolins inside the event, gave away bottles of mouth wash and put them in the rest room for everyone to use before the date.

A month after that an advertising agency contacted us, apparently, affiliated with Astring-O-Sol, said they are now looking for speed dating companies that could create events for them.(I remember the brand manager telling me that when he pitched that idea to the bosses, they liked to be related to the speed dating market.) We said, Oh! ok.. so you mean you're looking for other speed dating event companies even though the idea came from us? They said yes, as a matter of factly.We sent a proposal, as they requested, and no response came. 3 months later, Elaine saw on a TV advertisement, oh! Astring-O-Sol dating marathon! oh wow, what great idea! and wait! we did not help them organize this event for them. So someone else benefited from our idea. Just as we thought, a competitor.

So I texted the brand manager, "saw you have a speed dating event now, congrats ah!" No reply. Next day, the ad agency called me again, asking for our schedule, they're looking for other speed dating companies again, coincidence?

So i tried visiting their website http://www.astringosol.com.ph/ and saw WOW! my tagline, manipulated:

Left is my poster for the event sent to the brand manager when I solicited for sponsorship. My tagline: Single? Mingle!

Right, Astring-O-Sol's website with a bit of twist on my tagline: Mingle with other singles.

How original!




And then I browsed through their website and saw, guess what! they are holding an event in Moomba!!! Where I held my first event! Moomba is a secluded restaurant that is familiar only to the people who lives near Timog, but the ambiance? perfect for speed dating! Of course they saw our photos in our website!

What can we do then? People who needs to climb the corporate ladder needs to do this. I guess we'll just have to come up with better ideas and not tell people who can benefit from it.